People always ask me "Do you miss Hawaii," and I always answer the same way, "Yes. Every day."
Today a woman came through my check stand with a maika'i card on her keyring. I was torn between bursting into tears and jumping over the register to hug her and kiss her once on each cheek. Instead I stumbled through a story about how the check stand lady at Foodland gave me her Polynesian turtle shell bracelet after I commented on its beauty. Just like that. Gave it to me off her own wrist. I'm pretty sure the lady was ready to just hurry up and pay for her groceries after that awkward moment.
Little things like this happen to me ALL the time. At least once a week. Sometimes once a day. Little bits of Hawaii pop up and call to me and then I end up trying my hardest not to cry. Just last week we were in a store at the mall that had a TV on playing a song by Jason Mraz and the video had scenes from I believe Kaui and I just stood and froze and watched it and let my heart hurt and my two year old run around in the store window display until it was over.
I have a picture of Waimea by my favorite artist Bill Braden that I bought at the Haleiwa Arts Festival hanging in Choob's bathroom. Sometimes when I go in there to pee I close my eyes so I won't see it and get sad.
The worst thing is that I am starting to forget. Dan and I will be talking about something that we did in Hawaii and it is fuzzy when I try to recall it. It's been too long. Two years too long. I'm forgetting.
Little things like this happen to me ALL the time. At least once a week. Sometimes once a day. Little bits of Hawaii pop up and call to me and then I end up trying my hardest not to cry. Just last week we were in a store at the mall that had a TV on playing a song by Jason Mraz and the video had scenes from I believe Kaui and I just stood and froze and watched it and let my heart hurt and my two year old run around in the store window display until it was over.
I have a picture of Waimea by my favorite artist Bill Braden that I bought at the Haleiwa Arts Festival hanging in Choob's bathroom. Sometimes when I go in there to pee I close my eyes so I won't see it and get sad.
The worst thing is that I am starting to forget. Dan and I will be talking about something that we did in Hawaii and it is fuzzy when I try to recall it. It's been too long. Two years too long. I'm forgetting.
I'm forgetting what it's like:
to walk down the beach with Dan
to surf/snorkel north shore
to jump off really high rocks and land in really shallow water
to know all the lyrics to Hawaiian radio songs like "I like fish and poi, I'm a big boy....."
to go up/down the Kehoe's driveway in the rain
to lose power because some has hit a telephone pole again
to stare out at the sea from the top of the pupukea heiau
I'm forgetting the taste of:ted's breakfast
a snorkel in my mouth
poki cakes from Angels
taco bell in Kaneohe
a matsumotos flavored with li hing moi and ice cream on the bottom
I'm forgetting the sight of:
those trees on the way to costco that Dan calls "canopy makers"
chinamen's
The Nimitz Hwy sign
Sunsets
shark box
"fat carty" the 500 pound shirtless golf cart driving guy on the way to kaneohe
Palms dancing in the wind
Everything North Shore
stray Chickens and cats
Gray whales from the Kehoe's deck
Rainbow School
Waimea Falls and Bay
I'm forgetting the sound of:
The drums at the PCC
sudden rainstorms
Dr. Shimizu and the lawn chairs in her outdoor waiting room
big wave season
my baby's squeaky stroller as we walked the bike path
I'm forgetting the smell of:
dozens of sunday dinners at TVA from dozens of different countries
Pineapple fields
Surf out at V-land
Maui Babe tanning lotion
Mold
Early morning waimea, when not a soul is on the sand
I'm forgetting the feel of:Sea Turtles
humidity
a wet bathing suit worn all day
sand-on my skin, in my hair, in the car, in my food, in my sheets
laying out at turtle bay
driving with the windows down
humility
aloha
It's been too long. Two years too long. It's time to go back for a visit before the hole in my heart gets any bigger. Melodramatic I know. For all you readers who still live there (Beck, Steph, Molly) don't forget...you live in paradise.
It's been too long. Two years too long. It's time to go back for a visit before the hole in my heart gets any bigger. Melodramatic I know. For all you readers who still live there (Beck, Steph, Molly) don't forget...you live in paradise.
12 comments:
Oh Jaime, I want to cry with you. I love all that you love about Hawaii. I want to send you back today!
It is great that you can write down your memories so you will always have them wtih you.
Ohhh Jaime...Lane and I LOVED this entry as we miss Hawaii everyday as well. There were certain ones that really hit home such as, sand everywhere, smelling everyones TVA dinners.
Don't forget...
Watching "Contender" and rooting for lil Mexican guy.
Burgers at Pizza Bob's
Seeing Dan get his finger bit by and eel
The rotting smell of the cowrie shells we found at Waimea
i loved this post too! wow- i live here and i am forgetting all these things too- i think this was the best reminder ever for me to ENJOY life here in hawaii. i love it, but i get so caught up in day to day hum drum and my own little concerns and worries that i forget where i am sometimes! i hereby promise to enjoy it more and enjoy it for you too until you return!
Oh Dear, please don't let Barry see this post. Hide it. It will probably bring a tear or two to his eyes. He's desperate to move back. I told him we can move back as long as he has a good enough job to buy us (well, rent us) a house that isn't rotting and one that has air conditioning. =)
Thinking about Ted's, Matsumoto's, Pizza Bob's, poki cakes, and dinner smells from TVA is not fun while fasting. I want to have a burger, shave ice (definitely with ice cream) and some chocolate haupia pie right now!
Are you trying to make me more depressed than I already am? You were so lucky to live there longer and have those experiences with your husband! I haven't been back for almost 5 years and Chris has NEVER been so I'm dying to take him and show him all these things that you just can't describe to anyone. I have SO many fun memories from there and SO many of them have you in them! So, thanks for bringing a smile to my face and a tear to my eye! Aloha!
i hate you. i hate you for dragging me through this pain. how dare you.
what i mean is,
i know how you feel. martin just said to me yesterday that we're getting to the point where it won't seem real that we actually lived there.
how to move back? and even if/when we could----we won't be in those glorious and dumpy (except remember how jazzed i was about the niceness of your interior decor) tva boxes.
Well J, Paul and I sat together and read this entry and then began reliving memories of our own. I was shocked by how much I had forgotten. It's all the little things that I miss most. Thank you for reminding us of so many of them - what a place. Paul and I are always daydreaming/scheming our return. How is it that Hawaii just steals this gigantic part of your heart and refuses to let go no matter how many miles or years seperate you. To borrow a line from Lost: "We should have never left the island. We need to go back." Aloha.
please come back to me. it doesn't have to be so sad. move back. that simple :)
Could that be any more depressing?
Oh, this is Alisa BTW.
Thanks for that uplifting post. I really appreciate it. Thanks. Hmm...so you don't miss cruizing around looking for the Da' Hui White Jeep? Or what about the Chilis date nights? I guess you've forgotten all about those times, 5 years ago!!
For at least a year after we moved back from Hawaii I couldn't even look at the pictures we took while we were there because I got too depressed. Hawaii was my Heaven on earth. In fact, I think I'm going to go curl up in a little ball in the corner of the room now. Excuse me please...
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