Tuesday, July 15, 2008

[June 14] KILL ME NOW!

You are looking at the Ralph's Service Deli newest employee. Why have I chosen to pursue a career in meat slicing when I graduated magna cum laude with a Bachelor's in Biology? Because I am an idiot. Just look at me. Idiot. Yeah, I used help run a company with hundreds of employees and now I am a meat slicer. With my name spelled wrong on my uniform. The only uniform I ever wore was my wild animal park uniform. This one is much uglier. Not to mention I HATE the color red. Awesome luck for me. Ralph's is just down the street and will let me work the night shift (5-11pm) so Dan can watch the choob when he gets home. After seeing the work ethic of my fellow meat slicers, my plan is to be the best damn meat slicer Ralph's has ever seen and be promoted to checker (which I think me and all my OCD-ness would enjoy) and then to the eventual owner of Ralph's in about 3 months. That's the plan. Wish me luck.

6 comments:

doug and becky said...

You got your dreams to come true! You're a Ralph's employee. Go show them who's the best meat slicer around :)

Stephanie said...

if anyone could do it- you could! i could see you being the most efficient checker around. you would like that. shoot for that! thanks for the awesome picture with the slightest degree of defeat and lots of humor beaming from your face. i love it.

diana palmer said...

almost without fail your posts make me laugh out loud. its almost distracting, how funny you are, because i can't keep from commenting on that instead of what you wrote about...

good luck in your claw climb to the top. but if it gets to be too much, i recommend considering a career in comedy.

Kendra said...

Hey you do what it takes- I don't care if you have to slice someone's finger off "accidentally" to get a promotion!! How is Ralph's treating you?? Your son is so incredibly cute I just want to eat him. Anywho- are you kids going to the reunion??

snbjork said...

You go girl! Anything to make a buck. What's wrong with the color red, anyway? I think it's great.

You'll totally get to the top in record time. Those higher powers can't even spell!

How'd you get so funny anyway? I wanna learn.

Julie W said...

Ok, You should write a book. You have the funniest bolg ever, and your warped mind has such a crazy unusualy language that you could make a butt load of cash off of it... "insights from the mind of Jaime"
Way to buck up and help your family get to where you need to be!