Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Meet My New Best Friends

SOMA

PERCOCET

WARNING: flying down the longest zipline in the continental US four times a day for six months can result in serious injury.

On Friday I injured my neck at work.
During our morning test ride I busted my neck upon contact with the "braking system" (aka crashing into three metal brakes)

The medic sent me to a clinic of his choice to be x-rayed. I never realized how important C5 and C6 vertebrae are until I hurt them. I now know how the tin man felt, unable to bend or turn his head. Off to physical therapy I went that same day to be tortured for another 30 minutes. Finally I was sent home with ice/hot packs, a neck log, and some drugs that were supposed to cure me.

They did not.

Being that it was the weekend and I couldn't get a hold of the clinic doctor, I did what any logical patient would do: Self medicate! I started taking Dans heavy duty muscle relaxers. They did not work.

Unable to administer an epidural to myself, I turned to the next best thing: NyQuil and my secret vicodin stash (which I acquired from Dans wisdom teeth removal) so I could sleep at night.

Went back to the doctor on Monday looking like a robot. He stated, "we are going to go after this quite aggressively now," and handed me a prescription for pure bottled magic.

After FOUR days of constant immobility and pain I was given the gift of percocet and soma. These little friends made it possible for me to
walk, go to the bathroom on my own, brush my own hair, hug my baby before he left with Dan for preschool, and sit and type this blog. Miraculous. I LOVE modern medicine!

Sometimes I love things a little too much. Let's not forget my addiction to nose spray and Mt. Dew. Perhaps Dan will be checking me into rehab by the end of the week. But for now it's "doctors orders" and I couldn't be happier to hang out with my two new friends all day, every day until Thursday.

5 comments:

Melissa said...

Oh no! Are you going to be able to make it to Vegas??? What's the plan after and are you at least getting disability at work and still getting paid?

Jodi said...

Sounds like your job is a pain in the neck! Sorry... bad pun. If you are on Percocet though, you probably thought that was funny. :) Percocet is my drug of choice too. We really bonded during the c-sections. I don't know if it really takes the pain away or that it makes you not care. Either way... he's a good friend to have around! Rest up my friend and enjoy the smooth sailing of soma sedation.

snbjork said...

Seriously, thank goodness for good strong medicine when you need it! I was given percocet after my last baby. Just a tiny bottle full, maybe like 8 pills. I was very very sad when they ran out. What a long, rough weekend it must have been!

Julie W said...

Jaime! Neck/ back injuries are so serious! I hope your doctor knows what he is doing. I would recommend a chiropractor once you are all healed up. As a warning, you may never be the same! I have to see a chiro 2 times a month to keep the headaches away, from a simple teenage car crash, and snowboarding crash. Take care of yourself. Good luck to you and your boys.

Stephanie said...

ah the nose spray addiction- love it! and as for your poor neck and back my dear- be careful with yourself!!!!! and i like jodi's comment hehe. pain in the neck- good one.