[Jan 12] When Did I Become Such a Weenie?

Today. I became a big ol weenie today. I had to go get an MRI done on my lower back to see if it requires surgery. I've really been looking forward to this test because I've had this back problem since I was pregnant with The Choob and no on seems to know how to fix it. I had to wait until now because my lovely deductible re zeros at the end of every year. This way if I need anything else done, it will be paid for once I meet the deductible. Blah blah blah.

Anyway, I arrive and am kinda excited because I've seen MRI's on TV shows like House and Grey's etc. She has me lay on my back and then inches me into the tube.

Guess what I learned about myself as I'm being shoved into the plastic coffin? I'm TOTALLY claustrophobic. Like panic attack crazy lady claustrophobic.

First of all, this picture makes it look roomy but let me tell you, there is NO room. My arms were touching on each side, my knees were touching the roof and my face was literally 2 inches from the ceiling of it. I was thinking to myself, dude this thing is really tight.

Once I was all the way in the tube, the MRI tech asked how I was doing over the intercom and I immediately started screeching, "I need to come out...right now..I need to come out right now....get me outta here!" So she inched me out of the tube of terror.

I refused to go back into the tube of death headfirst again and told the lady in my sternest voice with a hint of hysteria that she had to figure out another way to get me in there because I'd been waiting for this test for 8 months and I wasn't leaving till I got it done. (if she hadn't of found another way, I totally would've went home bawling truth be told)

So she decides to put me in feet first. I was still all the way in the tube but I could see a glow of light near the top of my head. That was much better than the total darkness the first time. MRI tech told me that I only had to be in there for 20 minutes and it would be over in no time and I should try to relax. I of course had issues with this.

First of all: 20 minutes?!!! Why not make it eternity? Second: Try to relax?! What the crap lady? Didn't you just hear my insane pleas for immediate tube removal? Don't tell me to relax!!

So with my earplugs in (b/c the MRI makes really loud weird noises just for some added fun) I begin to hypnotize myself whilst simultaneously singing Primary songs. Weenie. I know. I had to fight every urge to scream out my desires for release.

I have never been so happy when I heard her say, "Okay this is the last round of noises and then you're done". When she pulled me out of the tube I was expecting her to congratulate me on my braveness or make a comment about how I totally just conquered my fears but instead she said this and only this:

"If you need another MRI make sure you tell your physician that you need to be sedated."

Thanks for NOTHING MRI tech.

Sidenote: Later that day I went to lego land with The Choob and my brother. We were playing on this playground with a really long tube slide. Jeff goes down first and is screaming the whole time, "ahhh MRI tube MRI tube!" to make fun of me. I laughed, sent Choobie down the slide and then went myself. When I got to the bottom I had to scoot myself out like 5 feet of flat tube and I got a little panicked. I won't lie. Next time I won't take the tube slide, I'll opt for the stairs.

Yours Truly,
Super Weenie